Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Where's My Dependence?

Where's my Dependence? I am in a state of wonder today...I look at the worship team God has blessed me with. It's amazing...yet, I am potentially losing 3 key players on my team, all around the same time. God has brought other people our way, but when I think about these people leaving, my stomach begins to turn.

So I wonder, why do I feel sick when I think about these changes? Are their departures such that my team will be crippled? Yes and no. The team will take a blow on the musical side, but our resolve to lead people to genuine encounters with Christ will be intact. In that, where is my dependence? Do I place my dependence on great musicians, or do I put my complete trust in the Creator of this universe. Once again, I revisit a sore spot in my leadership...am I more dependent on my musicians to provide an experience with God or am I depending on God to show up and do what only He can?

I believe God will continue to keep refining me in this area. Everytime I lose a key player on my worship team, my soul cringes. My tendency is to think, how will we continue to do what we do without them? I believe my question needs to be, what is God doing? How will God choose to move through my new set of external circumstances. When we meet for corporate worship on Sundays, He still desires the worship of His people. If worship is more than just music, which I believe it is, then it should remain unhindered despite the changes. In fact, I wonder if true Biblical worship will grow? Regardless of how slick the presentation on Sunday, is God moving in such a way that people are responding with acts of worship that far supercede hands raised in the air? Are they living their lives sacrificially as acts of worship? Am I doing that? Do I love my wife sacrificially? Do I lay down my all for my family? Do I honor God with my money...where's my treasure...there's my heart! If people were living their lives according to Romans 12 because they've had an indescribable experience with Jesus Christ, Sundays would just be an overflow a life they already lead. There would be no "modeling from the stage" necessary; we would just all come blown away with who God is. We'd walk in the door praising God...shouting His name...telling of His greatness.

So that brings me back to my first question...where's my dependence? Am I once again depending on the strengths of man that are certain to fail? Am I leaning into the divine strength that comes from a mighty God that is out to make much of His name? His river runs strong...sometimes I think I am just content to stand ankle deep and say, "oh the water feels nice." He calls us to jump in head first, get lost in the current, take a drink...heck get drunk on who He is! When will we worship with the abandonment that God desires? Why are we content to sit on the banks where the water is calm and shallow? God is deep...yet we worship like He's the little stream of water that runs by the curb of my house when we have a light shower.

I want to place my dependence in the One whose current is strong...an unstoppable force...not bound by human effort, but far exceeding our best offerings.

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